The Small Self Care Habits That Actually Stick

For a long time I thought self care meant something you had to buy. A candle, a bath bomb, one of those face masks that makes you look like you're in a horror film. I'd see it online and think, that's nice, but it's not really for me, and then do nothing instead.

The actual stuff that helps me has turned out to be a lot smaller and a lot less photogenic than that.

It doesn't have to cost anything

Some of the things that actually reset me are free. Ten minutes with a cup of tea before anyone else is awake. Sitting in the car for a minute after a long day before going inside. Opening a window. None of it looks like much from the outside, but it's the difference between starting the evening wound up or starting it calm.

Five minutes count

I used to think self care needed a proper chunk of time set aside, so if I only had five minutes I'd decide it wasn't worth bothering with and just carry on. Now I think five minutes is plenty. A short walk round the block, three deep breaths before replying to a stressful email, putting your phone in another room for a bit. Small and often beats big and rare.

Say no without the guilt speech

This one took me the longest to learn. I used to say yes to things I didn't have the energy for, and then explain myself for five minutes about why, as if no needed a full defence. It doesn't. "I can't make that one, but thank you for asking" is a full sentence.

Notice how you actually feel, not how you think you should feel

It's easy to tell yourself you're fine because that's the answer that keeps things moving. I've started actually checking in with myself properly, not just the automatic "yeah, good thanks" when someone asks. Some days the honest answer is tired, or a bit flat, or overwhelmed, and just admitting that to myself, even quietly, changes how I treat myself for the rest of the day.

Let it look boring

Nobody's self care routine needs to be worth posting about. An early night, doing the washing up so it's not there in the morning, going to bed without scrolling for once. Boring is fine. Boring is often exactly what's needed.

This is a lot of what I tried to build into the Self-Care & Happiness Journal for the shop, somewhere to actually notice how you're doing day to day, with prompts that don't require you to have a spare hour or a bath bomb to hand.

I'm still not brilliant at any of this, some weeks I remember all of it and some weeks I remember none of it. Jasper, on the other hand, has self care completely figured out, he naps whenever he feels like it and has never once apologised for saying no to anything.

If you've been waiting to feel like you deserve a proper self care day before doing any of the small stuff, maybe start with the small stuff instead.